


do you still hate yourself?

by Rueis



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Affection, Biting, Blood Drinking, Blow Jobs, Confusion, Consensual, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Finger Sucking, Forehead Kisses, Groping, Hand Feeding, Implied Relationships, Kissing, M/M, Pining, Self-Hatred, Stealing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-15 23:24:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10559446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rueis/pseuds/Rueis
Summary: Berukia's sudden change in behavior both amuses and confuses Tsubaki.





	

**Author's Note:**

> alright, so this has a theme of sorts that are based on this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nukC7nMthrc which are stated above each part, so it's broken up in parts, corresponding with this song for the most part, a lot of the lines really reminded me of Berukia and Tsubaki, thus the inspiration of it. though some parts are a bit tweaked, which I'm sure you might take notice of. enjoy~!

_You said you hate yourself so let me feed you strawberries off a plate and we’ll see if you still hate yourself._

It wasn’t like the magician wasn’t aware of how Tsubaki thought of himself or what Tsubaki hid deep down inside. Berukia liked to think that he could read well into Tsubaki’s mood swings or his off behavior; he saw the latter plopped down on the couch.

Berukia had returned with something as far as Tsubaki could see. “Did you run and get me something, Beru? You didn’t have to, though how generous—“ it wasn’t sushi?

That was surprising.

Berukia joyfully shoved a strawberry towards Tsubaki’s mouth with his fingers, pushing it to his lips.

“Strawberries~!” Berukia goes on to say how he thinks they’re romantic. Tsubaki is a bit embarrassed by the sudden rush of emotions being thrown his way.

He just doesn’t get _why_ so suddenly and why strawberries of all things.

Nonetheless Berukia feeds him strawberry, after strawberry from the plate and then there’s a grin on the magician’s face.

“Hm? What is it?” Tsubaki asks with curiosity and Berukia gleefully held out a can of whipped cream, and asked the Servamp if he wanted any with the few strawberries that were left.

Tsubaki is a bit puzzled by all of this because he didn’t understand why the sudden gestures of all of this. He went along with it and allowed the magician to have his fun.

Berukia sprayed whipped cream onto the strawberries and fed them to Tsubaki like he had done previously; Tsubaki licked Berukia’s fingers clean, to which he snickered to himself at the magician’s expression.

Over all, he was still curious about the reason for all this.

Though, Berukia said nothing about it and simply walked off.

Now Tsubaki was usually the one to confuse others with his behavior but he just couldn’t read Berukia’s intentions this time around.

So there the Servamp of Melancholy sat, confused and with interest as he pondered the reasons that Berukia had done all of that, but he lets it pass and continues about his day.

* * *

_If you still hate yourself I’ll eat you out for an hour in your room cause I love giving head._

A few hours later Tsubaki was to himself in his room when he gets a knock to his bedroom door, now usually he expected it to be Shamrock wishing him goodnight or one of the others bugging him about something – but, no, no this time around it’s him again.

There the magician stands near the doorway as Tsubaki tells him it’s fine to come in.

“Something troubling you, Beru?” Or rather it’s that he’s curious about the magician’s behavior as of late. Berukia said no, nothing like that but asked if he could sit with Tsubaki for a while. It didn’t bother him in the least, and he appreciated his company.

The two talked for a while, nothing out of the ordinary, they cracked jokes and shared a laugh, and it just simultaneously happens – happens, without the two really meaning for it to, the magician has his lips pressed to Tsubaki’s and once again he’s at a loss for Berukia’s behavior. Though, he doesn’t stop it either, more so he deepens it himself.

He once again let’s Berukia have his fun.

He lets the magician slide hands up his body and grope and touch at his skin, Berukia earns small gasps in return, Tsubaki thinks… it’s interesting. Very interesting…

Berukia bites and nips at Tsubaki’s skin as he teases Tsubaki, and Tsubaki humors and goes along with interest, enjoying himself in the moment of it all, still at a loss of why.

Berukia pauses his advances and asks Tsubaki for permission, “May I?” he gestures to Tsubaki’s lower body and groin, implying that he wanted to suck him off if the latter would allow.

Tsubaki teases, “Be my guest, my dear, sweet magician, perhaps give me a show then?” he laughs, though, he still doesn’t quite get Berukia’s intentions of all of this, not at all.

Berukia smiles to himself as he says that he will put on quite the show for his master.

He moves down and proceeds to go down on Tsubaki once he removes the blockage of clothing to do so. Berukia sucks, and bites, he teases as he sucks off his master, putting on quite the show indeed with his mouth and tongue.

Earning the magician moans from Tsubaki to which Berukia took great pride in.

Soon enough the Servamp finishes in Berukia’s mouth, cum spilling into the magician’s and he licks off what catches on his mouth and face, in quite the seductive manner, much like Tsubaki had sucked off his fingers with the whipped cream and strawberries.

Tsubaki felt his face burn at the image before him.

How lewd, or as Otogiri would say, “How embarrassing…”

Not long after that Berukia had taken his leave once again, and left Tsubaki to his slumbers, Tsubaki was still quite amused by the magician’s behavior and still wondered why, and the reasoning behind said behavior. Interesting… interesting indeed.

* * *

_If you still hate yourself we’ll cut ourselves and swallow chunks of broken glass._

A few days later Berukia had approached him once again, and Tsubaki wondered what would happen this time, it was as if the magician was keeping him newly on his toes.

Berukia snuggled up to Tsubaki on the sofa, Tsubaki didn’t mind it, and it was normal behavior as far as he was concerned with the unusual events as of late.

It was like these things… simply initiated themselves all on their own, or so it seemed.

Tsubaki kept his eyes on the magician with curiosity.

“Eh? Something wrong Tsubakyun?”

Perhaps… or rather he was simply waiting to see what Berukia would do.

“Ah, nothing,” Tsubaki said. Boring…

Like Berukia picking up on something he moved closer to Tsubaki, initiating further snuggling, Tsubaki distanced himself a bit this time.

“I don’t have anything today I’m afraid,” Berukia said which caught Tsubaki off guard.

“Though, Tsubakyun, you can bite my fingers if you wish,” Berukia offered. Tsubaki only blinked, quite confused by the sudden offer on the table, or perhaps it was returning the favor of how Berukia usually fed off Tsubaki. “It’s not my neck, so it’s fine.”

Ah, right, death…

“I suppose,” Tsubaki answered and the magician offered his hand without so much a hesitation as he pressed fingertips to Tsubaki’s lips.

Tsubaki barring his fangs, he bit down on one finger after another, merely biting and puncturing holes in the magician’s finger tips as he licked and sucked the blood that sprung up upon them.

Berukia’s face was flushed with embarrassment, clearly enjoying it, pleased with being able to give back to his master.

It was Tsubaki this time that left as he shoved the magician away.

* * *

_I’ll buy the biggest TV that my credit card allows me and we’ll watch the food network for the rest of our lives._

All of this was still so… confusing to the Servamp, he just didn’t get _why_ Berukia was doing it. He wanted to know _why_.

_Why?_

This time he was in another area chatting with Higan this time around when Berukia comes in with (what he guesses) a stolen TV.

“Moron, where did you get that?” Sakuya asks.

“Eh?! Don’t be so rude, Sakuya! It’s free,” Berukia adds.

"Stolen isn’t free."

And the rest have no idea how Berukia supposes they get channels and such, or would he steal that too and siphon it from their neighbors? Much like their Wi-Fi.

After all, Tsubaki did like that cell phone of his, as did the others.

“It’s _fine_ ,” Berukia snaps at Sakuya’s protests, he looks to Tsubaki, “Right, Tsubakyun?”

Tsubaki wants to see what happens so he says that if Berukia can get it to work that they can keep the TV. Berukia cheers with joy and Sakuya sneers and shrugs it off, _whatever_.

The next few days Berukia tried his very hardest to get the thing to work, and to the surprise of everyone else (most assuming he’d fail) it did work, somehow.

They chalk it up to his “magic” and they laugh.

“See! Now we have something to watch when we cuddle on the sofa together, Tsubakyun,” Berukia hums as he pulls Tsubaki close to him.

Though Tsubaki comments that he rather liked watching Sakuya brood off on the balcony as a form of entertainment.

Beruka huffs in annoyance and Sakuya grumbles about to stop watching him.

“I’m only kidding, Beru, you’re right, TV is far more interesting.” That eventually soothed the magician’s irritation and Sakuya shrugged and ignored them both.

* * *

_Do you still hate yourself?_

Days later the two were watching cooking shows and food networks among the TV, Berukia commented that he’d like to try cooking such dishes for Tsubaki sometime.

Tsubaki would laugh at watching others fail on reality cooking shows, it was interesting indeed, though still on his mind was still the same thing.

_Why?_

Servamp and Subclass sat in silence as Berukia cuddles up against Tsubaki, until the magician speaks, “Do you still hate yourself?”

The sudden question catches Tsubaki off, very, very off. Though he puts two and two together and supposes that the magician’s strange behavior was because of that.

“Ah, whatever do you mean?”

Berukia goes on to say how he doesn’t quite understand it but that he can just feel a certain vibe from Tsubaki, that he can pick up on his feelings and guess or rather know when the Servamp was in a bad mood, or rather even guess at Tsubaki’s feelings.

“Is that why you did all of this?” Tsubaki asks, still not understanding _why_.

“I like to see you smile, I like to see you shine, I love you, so of course! I’d do anything for you,” Berukia states with honesty and Tsubaki just isn’t sure why there are tears in his eyes and simply responds, “Ah…”

“Ah—ah! Don’t cry Tsubakyun…!” and Tsubaki merely laughs and says that he’s happy.

“I suppose I just… never expected someone to go to such lengths for _me_.”

Berukia smiles, “Well, I’d go to the ends of the earth for you.”

The Servamp of Melancholy rubs his eyes and for once he pulls the magician close himself, and leans up and goes on, “Ah… yes, thank you, my dear magician,” he says as he plants a kiss to Berukia’s forehead. The magician hugged Tsubaki back in turn.

Tsubaki thinks to himself… that he doesn’t hate himself quite as much as he once had formally.

Not when he has someone constantly bestowing love onto him, love that he feels he doesn’t deserves in the first place, nor that he feels he fully grasps, but nonetheless, he supposed he loved Berukia all the same, just as Berukia loved him.

_No, I suppose not._


End file.
